


Watch It Pour

by awildqueen



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: F/M, Kanej - Freeform, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, not as smut as i wanted but still..., raining scenario, semi smut i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 17:19:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15756279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awildqueen/pseuds/awildqueen
Summary: a/n: this all started with a headcanon of Kaz and Inej on the rooftop, while it rains, then well, it became this fanfic. it was written half in inej’s point of view, and the other half in kaz’s point of you. I was completely anxious about writing a kaz’s POV, but I swear I tried my best. again, four years have passed since Inej left Ketterdam. and this can be considered semi smut for some fans, so if you don’t like it or don’t feel comfortable with it, I advise you to not read it.





	Watch It Pour

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: this all started with a headcanon of Kaz and Inej on the rooftop, while it rains, then well, it became this fanfic. it was written half in inej’s point of view, and the other half in kaz’s point of you. I was completely anxious about writing a kaz’s POV, but I swear I tried my best. again, four years have passed since Inej left Ketterdam. and this can be considered semi smut for some fans, so if you don’t like it or don’t feel comfortable with it, I advise you to not read it.

**INEJ**

Inej knew the job wouldn’t be easy, but she could easily say that she was happy. Kaz and her had an important heist this morning, and she could feel the adrenaline in her veins during the whole thing. She was with the Dregs, once again. She was home.

Even after spending four years away, Inej still knew exactly how to work with Kaz, how to be The Wraith, and she knew, deep down, that she wouldn’t ever forget. Four years have passed, but Kaz and her were still a team, still working in the same patterns, with the same understanding between them. It was easy working with him, the difficult part were all the unsolved feelings, Inej thought. At least they could keep this aside when they were busy trying to not get caught.

Fortunately Kaz’s plan worked during the heist and now they could just sit in the Slat rooftop, watching the city below them. Inej noticed Kaz’s eyes focused on the street, trying to find some information about their next victim. She knew he was already coming up with a new plan, for another job. That was okay with Inej. She missed that, and she was glad Kaz came up with a lot of tasks after she came back. She couldn’t ignore that almost all of these plans were executed only by both of them. Inej was trying her best to not be hopeful about his decisions, trying to not wait for this to have some meaning when she knew it probably didn’t. He needed her because she was good in what she did. That’s how Kaz’s mind worked and Inej knew she should keep this in mind, but a little part of her hopeless heart couldn’t help but wonder.

He was different. Inej could see this. He wasn’t wearing his gloves as much as he used to when near her. He didn’t show repulse when touching her, like when he pulled her to safety or even placed his hands in her arms, stopping her from almost walking into a trap. They didn’t talk much about other things that weren’t related to the Dregs or to her time away, but she could notice him looking at her sometimes, more than he used to. Inej asked herself what was going through his mind every time he did that.

Sitting on the rooftop, Inej caught herself looking at him, with the corner of her eyes. He still had the same dark smart eyes, the same scars above his lip and his eyebrow, the same odd and messy haircut, but his little, crooked smiles were showing up more, at least for her. But what did they mean? Inej had no answer for that question.

She was so lost in her thoughts and hopes, she didn’t notice that he was looking back at her. His eyes were travelling her face and Inej felt the urge to look away. She was used to Kaz looking at her, but that was different. Something in the way he looked at her changed, like he was challenging her to start talking about her feelings. Or maybe he was challenging himself to do that.

“So, what’s the next plan?”, she asked while looking down at the street. Ketterdam was exactly how Inej remembered. Ruthless. Unstoppable.

It took some time for him to answer, and when he did, he looked away. “Well, I’m still figuring everything out, but I’ll need your help. At least this one isn’t going to be too difficult.”

Inej just nodded, and the silence between them grew. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but she wanted to say so much and the worse part was that she wanted to hear so much. During moments like this she could feel a huge weight between the two of them.

It was when she heard the first thunder. It was loud, taking them both by surprise. Inej looked at the sky and felt a rain drop on her cheek. Suddenly the rain was falling, coldly and softly, at first, but then it got more intense and Inej knew they should get inside. She looked at Kaz and he was staring at the sky. He closed his eyes, and she noticed how the water running down his cheeks, coming from his dark and long eyelashes, made it look like he was crying. After some seconds, he looked at her.

“We should go”, he said, almost in a whisper. “We don’t want to face lightning, sitting on a rooftop.” He smiled, and she couldn’t stop herself but to look a little bit scared to the sky. She didn’t like lightning.

Inej was faster and was on her feet first. He slowly grabbed his cane and tried to find some balance to stand up. She wanted to help him, but she didn’t know if he would want that. Inej watched him for some seconds and noticed how the wet floor wouldn’t help him. She saw herself going to his direction and giving him some support, offering one of her hands. He looked at it for some seconds, but didn’t fight against her gesture, grabbing her hand tightly. When he stood up a little bit more, she got closer, putting one of her arms around his waist. He looked deeply at her and they were so close that Inej lost her breath.

She didn’t notice when he slipped a little bit, his cane losing all the balance, making both of them fall against the rooftop floor. Inej fell on her back, next to Kaz. They stayed there, lying down, in silence for a few seconds. After some time, she couldn’t stay quiet. Inej laughed. At first, it was more like a giggle, but then she couldn’t stop herself and truly laughed, rain falling down her face and soaking her clothes and hair.

She sat and looked at him, still lying on the floor. His eyes were shining and looking directly at her. He wasn’t laughing like her, but she couldn’t stop, and after some seconds, he started smiling back, a true and beautiful smile that made her feel dizzy. He sat next to her and she swear she heard a raspy, soft laugh coming out of his lips.

“Laughing of a cripple?”, his eyes were tender and his voice, playful. “What would your Saints think of that, Ghafa?”

She laughed even more and looked at the sky. The rain was cold but somehow that wasn’t bothering her. Inej felt her heart dancing in her chest. Everything looked brighter in that moment and she didn’t want it to stop. 

They continued sitting there, her laugh echoing and then softening. She could see, in the corner of her eyes, that Kaz was looking at her and still smiling. She looked at him, a big smile on her face. Inej knew she was probably looking silly, but she didn’t mind in that moment. She was feeling weightless and she didn’t want to lose this feeling.

A strand of her dark hair fell in front of her eyes, and she noticed Kaz raising one of his hands a little bit, coming to her face direction but he suddenly stopped, and his smile started to disappear. Inej felt like something was crushing her heart. She closed her eyes and cursed herself for being so hopeful.

That bright moment was gone, so fast that took Inej’s breath away. Kaz stopped looking at her and started to stand up. Inej was on her feet again, next to him, but this time she didn’t help him. Something inside her was saying that she shouldn’t, that he would push her away and that would hurt her deeply. After some seconds, they were both standing up there. She gave him a half smile and started to make her way to his bedroom. She heard him behind her, following her. She didn’t dare to look at him, even when she felt his eyes on her back.

She passed through his bedroom window and started going directly to the door. The rain outside quickly became a storm, but Inej just wanted to go to her bedroom and stop thinking about how silly she was some minutes ago. What was she expecting? Things didn’t change that much after all and she knew she shouldn’t care too much about this, but she did. Her heart and mind were cloudy now. The worst thing was to have a strong and vivid hope and then have this taken away with a disappearance of a smile.

With a hand on the door handle, she sighed. Her clothes were completely soaked, and she didn’t have any other clothes in The Slat anymore. Inej wouldn’t go back to Wylan and Jesper’s house that late and in the middle of a storm. All the lightning scared her more than she wanted to admit. She would stay at The Slat that night, but she knew she would need some dry clothes.

Inej turned to face Kaz and he was close to his makeshift desk, sitting on its end. His cane was resting beside him and he had already taken off his tie. His wet hair was messy and Inej hold herself to not go there and straighten it. He was staring at the floor but looked at her when she softly cleaned her throat.

“Sorry, but can you lend me something to wear?”, her voice sounded unstable and she hated herself for that. “It can be a shirt or something like that. I can’t sleep in these.” She looked down at her own clothes. They were sticking in her body and a little bit transparent. Inej was feeling cold and she couldn’t wait to take those clothes off.

Kaz eyes wandered her body a little bit, and then he finally silently nodded. He disappeared behind a wall and when he got back, he was holding one of his white shirts.

“Thank you”, she whispered when he handed it over to her. Inej was freezing, her entire body was weakly shaking and her wet hair, dripping water down her back, was sending shivers down her spine.

Kaz noticed that and also got her a towel. Inej was so desperate for some kind of warmness that she started to dry her hair right there. Kaz didn’t question anything and disappeared again, behind the wall that separated his desk and his bed. When he got back, he was wearing dry clothes and his hair was even messier. Inej needed to stop herself from smiling.

With her hair almost completely dry, she decided to change her clothes. She knew she shouldn’t do this right there, but she was feeling so cold that she could only think about getting rid of her wet clothes. She looked at Kaz and waited. He just kept looking at her with a confused expression.

“Could you…”, she made a movement with her finger, asking him to turn back.

“Oh of course. Sorry”, he said, and Inej thought she saw his face getting a little bit red.

He turned his back to her and she quickly changed her clothes. The feeling of the dry shirt on her skin was a relief and a little sigh came out of her mouth. She grabbed her wet clothes and placed the towel in one of his chairs.

“Okay, so goodnight”, her hands were already on the door handle. “And thank you again for the shirt.” It felt weird to thank Kaz for that, or to actually think she was wearing his clothes.

He turned to face her before she left, and his eyes briefly travelled her entire body, then his eyes were focused on her face. It was his turn now to give her a half smile, but he failed. A little smile almost showed up on his lips, but it quickly disappeared. 

“Goodnight, Inej”, his voice was tired and weak but somehow, she felt like it followed her all the way to her bedroom.

**KAZ**

Kaz couldn’t sleep. After Inej left his bedroom, he decided to go to bed as soon as he could, to stop his mind of thinking too much, but he failed. Even lying there, he couldn’t ignore all of the images showing up in his mind, making his heart race and his mind, a mess.

Inej’s disappointed face haunted him. When the rain started to fall, her dark brown eyes were shinning, and her smile made him forget everything. He thought about how he wanted to freeze that moment and just stay there with her, watching the water falling on her face as she closed her eyes. Then a strand of her dark wet hair fell on her face, making him want to fix it so bad that he could feel his entire body hurting, but he just couldn’t do it. Something told him to not do that and Kaz hated that voice inside of him.

He knew he was better. His repulse when touching people wasn’t that bad anymore. After Inej left Ketterdam, he started to practice it, touching some people here and there. While walking down the street, he allowed a man to touch his shoulder and when he shook hands with Jesper the other day, he wasn’t wearing gloves. Jesper didn’t question it. Not even when he went to his and Wylan’s house to have dinner and still wasn’t with his gloves.

Of course Kaz would still wear it, but around some people, he allowed himself to try. Pekka Rollins was done. He wasn’t coming back that soon, maybe never. Jordie’s memory still hurt, still haunted him, but he was trying to let this behind. It was difficult at first, but with time, he was getting better. He needed to try. For him. For her.

He missed her more than he allowed himself to, and when she came back, he knew he would want to try touching her. Inej was the main reason why he was trying to overcome this, after all. Kaz could do it, a few times, during some of their missions, but it was not enough. He didn’t try to touch her like his imagination always wanted him to, and he tried to convince himself that it didn’t happen not because he was scared, but right there, in his dark bedroom, with a loud storm outside his window, Kaz admitted to himself that he was frightened.

When he slipped and heard her laugh, he thought how lucky he was to be there by her side. That laugh… He wouldn’t mind listening to it endlessly. It was vivid, sweet and it made Kaz feel like when he was a kid and wanted to figure out the secrets behind a new magic trick. In that moment, a part of him screamed for him to touch her, but at the same time, a fear bigger than that desire was still alive, restraining him. What if he touched her and felt the water again? What if he touched her warm skin just for her to become a lifeless corpse in front of his eyes? What if he wasn’t better enough?

All of these thoughts were clouding his mind, making it impossible to sleep. He still could hear her laugh and her voice in his bedroom, and closing his eyes didn’t help. Every time he did that, he could see the strand of her hair falling on her face, her eyes, her wet clothes sticking on the curves of her body and then her with his shirt, standing there, close to the door. She was ready to leave and Kaz almost asked her to stay, and then almost asked her to leave immediately. The fear of not knowing what to do next invaded his heart and he thought it would get better when she left. It didn’t. Her presence in his bedroom was warm, steady and it made his feelings a mess, but like every time she leaves, it got colder, and he could feel his heart wanting to follow her, while his mind kept his feet stuck on the ground. Being near her hurt, and being far from her could hurt even more.

It was late now and Kaz didn’t know where he was going when he decided to leave his bed and walk towards his bedroom door, or at least, he convinced himself he didn’t know. Deep down, he was aware that if he thought about what he was doing, he wouldn’t keep going and, in that moment, he wanted to keep walking more than anything in the world. Walking towards her.

Her bedroom door was closed and Kaz couldn’t hear any noise inside. He stood there, his heart racing, and he couldn’t believe how much of a coward he was. He faced more dangers in 21 years than most men do during their entire lives, but there he was, in front of a girl’s door, scared of knocking. It was pathetic, and he knew that if it was another person in his place, he would be laughing. Why wasn’t it funny now?

Kaz finally knocked and the silence that came after that made him almost go back to his bedroom, but it was when he heard her voice.

“Come in”, her voice was shy, but clear.

He slowly opened the door, and he saw her sitting on her bed, still wearing his shirt. Just that image of her made his legs lose their balance, his heart screaming. A part of him wanted to run away, but other part wanted him to stay, wanted him to just sit there in her bed and be brave. Kaz wanted that part of him to win, at least that night.

He stayed there, on her door, for some seconds, not sure of why he was there. A consistent voice inside him knew he wanted her. That’s why he was there. But another voice was telling him to just go away, and leave her alone. She deserved better than him. He always knew that. But he changed, he truly tried… Didn’t this mean that he could be a better person for her? Was he selfish for wanting to find out?

Inej was looking at him. Her curious and fierce eyes watching him while everything inside him was collapsing. It didn’t seem like she had slept. Her hair was loose, and her legs were in front of her, the golden skin in contrast with the white sheets. The bedroom was warm, while the rain played a methodical song in the window.

“I’m sorry”, he heard himself saying. “I shouldn’t… This was a mistake.” He started to turn away, and go back to his bedroom. Or maybe he would grab an umbrella and just walk through the night, to clear his mind. Anything that could make his heart stop racing.

But before leaving, he heard her. “Stay”, she sounded confident, like she knew exactly what she wanted and wasn’t ashamed of that. Kaz wished he could feel this way too.

He kept looking at her, wishing she would ask again and wishing she wouldn’t. Deep down, Kaz knew what he wished the most.

“Stay here”, she asked again, her voice now sounding almost like a whisper.

A big part of him felt relieved when he heard that. Kaz just entered her room and closed the door behind him, trying not to think too much. He wanted to stay with her and that should be simple. He was better. He wanted her, and it could be simple, if he just tried a little bit more.

Kaz sat by her side and stared at the floor. Her feet were almost touching his left leg. He gently placed his cane in the big chest near her bed, his naked hands were cold and shaking a little bit. He closed them in a fist.

“I couldn’t sleep”, her voice brought him back from his mind. “The storm… All the lightning and thunders. I don’t like them.”

Kaz got confused and looked at her. Inej’s face was serious, that fascinating little furrow between her black brows. “I thought you liked the rain.”

She shrugged. “I like the rain, but not all of that noise and lightning.”

The silence fell between them after that. Kaz was closely listening to her breath, and the storm outside was softening. He was so focused on keeping a paced heartbeat that when Inej stretched her legs a little bit, touching his leg with the point of her feet, Kaz was taken by surprise at first. She didn’t even notice that. After some seconds, he saw his own hand going towards one of her feet. He gently touched the top of it with the tips of his fingers.

Inej didn’t move and he saw her looking at his hands. She didn’t ask him to stop, and he swallowed hard, trying to normalize his breathing. His hands slowly started to move up, touching her shin and then her calf. Her skin was warm and soft, and the feeling of it was inebriating. Kaz didn’t feel the water coming, even though a part of him was screaming for him to stop. That was his fear speaking, the fear of not being able to touch her as much as he wanted to, but he was there, with her, his hands on her leg, and he wanted more.

Kaz looked at her and she was staring at him, her eyes were dark and shining. Her lips were opened a little bit and she just nodded, showing him that it was okay to continue. She got closer to him, half of her legs on his lap. His hand passed through her knee, and then they were gently on her thighs. The feeling of her skin on his hands was something totally new to him, and he could feel the excitement and the nervousness mixed inside of his chest, but he just wanted to keep touching her until he could forget everything, even his name.

His hands were cold compared to her burning skin, and he could feel her shivering. Inej had her eyes closed and her lips were invitingly parted, and he heard her sighting. That sent a wave of desire through all his body and his hands were under her shirt. He knew it was actually his shirt, but it looked better on her anyway. He silently wished she would keep it and wear it more times.

Kaz’s hands were on the curves of her waist and he got closer to her collarbone, gently touching his lips there. He breathed her in. Her scent was familiar, clean and sweet. He could easily say that it was his favorite scent in the whole world. The tips of his fingers were brushing the waistband of her underwear, and when he kissed her collarbone again, she leaned her head a little bit, her lips whispering his name. That made Kaz’s grip on her waist tighter and he kissed her shoulder, feeling her skin on his lips. His mind was a blank and he could only think of her, of the feeling of her and how he wanted to stay there, in her bedroom, all night.

Suddenly, he felt Inej’s hands on his face. He looked at her and they were so close that Kaz could see her dilated pupils. He wanted to touch every part of her face and body, with his fingers and with his lips. She just kept looking at him for some seconds, like she couldn’t believe he was there, and he admitted to himself that not even him believed in that. But that was real. They were real, and he wanted this more than anything. He was tired of denying that, of denying her. She was the best thing he could ever have, and he would be deserving of that. Nothing would stop him of being with her. He wouldn’t let that happen. Not again.

Inej smiled and he could swear she was getting more beautiful every time she did that. Her hands were still on his face. His hands were still on her waist, her warm and delicate skin driving him insane. He could hear the rain outside still falling, and he was relieved it was the only water he was seeing and listening to. Inej’s body was still there, alive and warm. No bad memories came. Jordie was still there, in his mind, but he was quiet, and nothing was bothering Kaz. He decided to focus only on the sound of Inej’s breathing, because that was everything that mattered in that moment.

She got closer, biting her lower lip and he pulled her closer a little bit more. When she kissed him, he was ready. Or at least he thought he was. The feeling of her lips on his was fiery, and more than Kaz could ever expect. He kept one of his hands on her waist, but the other one was already intertwined in her silky hair.

Her lips were gentle and then, more demanding, and he was glad about that because he also wanted more. He was hungry, but only for her. All of these years just watching her and stopping himself of thinking about her, of wanting her… He didn’t need to do that anymore. Now that he tasted her lips and felt her skin, he couldn’t imagine living without that.

When their first kiss was over, he was already searching for her lips again. Everything was starting to disappear around him and not even the rain was around them anymore. He felt her smile against his lips and he couldn’t stop himself of smiling too. He knew she was more than he would ever deserve but he would try his best to give her everything she deserved. His gloves weren’t anywhere, so that could be a good start.

“I missed you”, he heard himself saying, against her lips. “I missed you too much.”

His hands were travelling through her back now, making his entire body tremble. Kaz knew there was a lot of rumors about his hands. Scars, blood, demon claws, and he knew they were all true somehow. But his hands weren’t just that now. They also could love and comfort her as much as she deserved. His hands could hurt, but they wouldn’t ever do that to her. He would love her and allow himself to be loved back, for the first time in his life.


End file.
